I need more sex than my partner—why can't I just get it elsewhere?
Believe it or not, I've actually heard this question numerous times, said in a variety of different ways: 'What's wrong with having my relationship needs and sexual needs satisfied by two different people?' 'Why can't I just have my marriage and my side chick?'' says Colleen Long, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and couples therapist with practices in Boston and L.A.
While some couples are comfortable with 'open' relationships, most aren't. Rather than looking elsewhere for excitement, partners need to carve out special moments for pleasure and flirting, says Dr. Fleming. 'I have my clients plan 'sexy time.' Of course, you can't 'command' yourself to feel sexy or aroused at a certain time, but if you have that time set aside it gives desire some space to emerge.' Check out 7 ways to make sex great again.